Service

"I need you to fix that sensor; the one you said you would order like two weeks ago, and call me when it arrived. Also, I need an oil change."

"Anything else?"

"I might let you give me a ride to the mall."

No Response

When I tell you, "I love you,"
It is not a response;
It is freedom for my heart,
Fire to warm us,
Ice to cool us,
Air for us to breathe.
Declaration,
Proclamation,
Law of nature.
Please don't forget.

SamandPatty

Goodbye again, father.
Fresh is your ailment today.
Goodbye, Pat.
I don't even know your last name,
Yet I was there to witness
The intimate moment
Of your death.
Say hello to Sam, when he's in the ether.

Not Playing

Admittedly, I am a jaded person. Therefore, I always try to do my "homework" before getting too deep into anything serious. It seems, though, that for whatever reason, I keep getting bad answers. By bad, I don't mean undesirable; quite the contrary. What I mean is I get what someone thinks I want to hear, or whatever they think they can tell me to get what they want at the time being. Well, how can I be at fault when this happens and things go awry? So, jaded yes, fault number 1, in this case.

Now, fault number 2. Trusting for the sake of love. Maybe this really should be number 1. Now, who's on the shitty end of all this? Me, I know. All my fault. And I keep saying, "Never again." And it keeps on happening. I guess I am doing this to myself.

screwitall.

Our View

Bench with a view
Built for two
Rest for weary knees
Nestled among trees

Suite on high
You and I
Holding tight
Wait for night

Sun sinks low
Shadows grow
Night bird sings
Church bell rings

Your hands caress
My hair a mess
Deep kiss quick breath
Little death

Ava

¿Ava, nuestro ángel, dónde están sus hermanos?

I Know Unknown

I had a conversation with my cousin, once, in which we discussed our disintegrating relationships, which were coming to a slow, agonizing close. I told her I was done. Not really wanting anymore of this type of thing. Resigned as I was to the fact that love just wasn't in the cards for me. "There is no one out there for me, who will understand me, and really care about me."

She replied, "Oh, you never know. He may just fall into your lap. You might even tell him to get up."

He did. I won't. He might.

I've learned a few things in life. One is: if you want something, you have to be willing to accept it. I am willing to accept something wonderful, no matter how limited it is. This is but one chapter in a long journey, and I want it to be the best. Not just for me. I have good things in my life. I finally feel like I can be "me," whoever that is, at least for a few short moments every now and then. That is a comforting feeling. It feels honest. It feels like freedom. It feels like acceptance. It feels like love. Any love is better than none at all. I plan to make it beautiful.

If/when it leaves, I don't want to ever think of it as something that was false. It blindsided me. I'm in that strange place where I am unsure and wary, but at the same time hopeful and excited and elated. I liken this to an unexpected shock. Not like scooting on the carpet during winter, then touching the doorknob. More like cruising along on a summer day, on the way to the gas station, and the gas station blows up just before you get there, and you feel heat and see smoke, and then the fireworks that were secretly stored in the shed behind the gas station start exploding like a Japanese holiday. Your heart beats with fear and excitement. Then all is silent, and you hear a voice whisper from the back seat, "Hey!" You turn around, and there is an angel in your car. You feel like you might be dead, and where? Then begins a blissful, secret, wonderful journey. You ascend and descend until you spin and hum out of control. You smile so your face almost hurts from it. Yes, I like this. It pleases me.

Foreminiscing

I remember when we could see the same sun, moon and stars, and still not touch. I remember I could always feel you. It's nice we can be here, now. Like a dream come true.