Sunday, August 21, 2005


A woman I know recently expressed to me that she was upset with her brother, who is trying to get disability because he is bi-polar. She knows him, so she knows that his "disorder" is probably not bad enough to get paid by tax payors not to work. I understand her distress. It is laughable to me how a person who has never had a period whines and doesn't want to work because he's moody.

Saturday, August 20, 2005


Just when I think there will be no balance in my life, I have a dream about riding bikes in the rain with my friend from long ago. Check the Dream Dictionary link to the right for specifics on the elements of this dream. Hey, you didn't think I was just going to HAND you the analisys, did you? Part of teaching others is to teach them how to research ;)

Mad at Ads

I can't seem to get away from people trying to sell me something or collect my money for something. HELLO! EARTH TO PEOPLE! I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!!!! I should be begging their blogs for money so I can keep my overdraft protection from kicking in every two weeks. Geez. Greedy, greedy, greedy.

Friday, August 12, 2005


Human = challenging game of temptation for eternal souls. Everyone wins, but it takes longer for some of us, because whether we want to admit it or not, we love the challenge. We forget when we're human how peaceful it is in between. When we're in between, we want to learn more lessons from the game. There are plenty of lessons, because by the grace of our own energy, we create. Thankfully, we're only in human form for a short period of time. Otherwise our souls would be "up all night drinking coffee" forever! Even souls need a rest.

Nightmare - or Flashback?

Back some years ago, I had a nightmare that I will never forget. I really don't think it was a nightmare in the sense of a symbolic working of my psyche to work out my emotions. I think it was a memory from another time. I haven't tried any past life regression to discover the era, but I've got a big hunch it was Hitler time. I won't reiterate it here, because it was too horrid even for me to repeat. It's a memory that makes me want to throw up and cry. I was helpless. Others were helpless. Small children were being murdered in ways you just wouldn't believe. I don't know what sort of brainwashing made those people do those things. Evil. It was a time of evil rising. It was a time to bring evil forth in a weak nation. Perhaps the result was a stronger nation. Perhaps it was just a wrench being thrown in the gears of an old, boring clock. I have no idea. It was horror. I just read a blog post that reminded me of this. That is my only memory of that time. I don't want anymore.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Horse Fights and Praying Mantis Goalies

I walked into a very high-ceilinged barroom - with darkly stained tall bar tables and chairs. The walls were a cream colored wash over stuckoed finish. The room was well lit with natural light from the front of the bar. The room was mostly unoccupied. Toward the back of the room, a huge chestnut clydesdale stood on its back legs, looking except for it's head and legs, like a huge man. He was beating up a human man. At least I think it was a man, for I was behind the horse.

Next thing I knew, I was looking up into the face of a giant praying mantis. He was wearing a hockey goalie mask - like the one Jason of horror films wears, only it was shaped to fit the face of the mantis.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, all was red but for a man's face divided into a five-pointed star.

That's when I started thinking....and the visions left me. Thinking always screws things up.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Out of Touch

One of the very few drawbacks of being out of touch with the "real" world (I laugh at this phrase), is that I miss out on things like "LANDING STRIP". This was explained to me today. how did I ever miss that???? That is so f*%@!&g hilarious!


I went to lunch with my friend, "S", today. We talked about a conversation I had with my husband about what he actually "sees" in me. He mentioned something about my mind and that I am smart and have a certain perception. This only comes from being OLD, I said. But I didn't mean chronologically old. You know how you just "know" certain things and you can't remember why? It's just a fact and you know it. Well things that I know are rather odd and might possibly land me in a small locked room some day. But that will just give me more time to practice what I know. Like I told "S" at lunch, the things I want to do don't have anything to do with money or recognition. They are things like learning to fly. Not an aircraft - myself. I want to learn to fly. I am content to float first. I want to learn how to control the cells of my body and heal myself. There are other things I want to do, but those are things I probably shouldn't. I want to learn to see space as it really is, without all the illusions of this realm. I want to see and smell music. There are people who can do that. I tried LSD a few times when I was in high school and shortly thereafter. I was able to see sounds. It was so cool. If I could do it while under the influence of that drug, I don't see why I couldn't somehow minipulate my brain to do it all on its own. I think I'll have to wait until my youngest son is older, though, because when he's around, I have to pay attention to him. It is just that motherly thing, you know. Perhaps my inability to sleep well when I have PMS is an indication that I should be spending that time meditating or astral travelling or something. I will tell you this: when you've not slept real good for about a week, you can't help being in an altered state. I will probably try to quit being a wuss and go camping sometime during PMS - hopefully I'll do this before I hit menopause. I hope my small psychic abilities don't go away once I go through "the change." Worry, worry, worry. Pthhllllllllll.......